Doodling

For as long as I can remember, as long as I have a pen or pencil on my hand and a piece of paper in front of me, I will definitely doodle. Whether this act is just a necessary impulse, or just a habit that I’ve grown into, it just happens. Anybody who has been my seatmate or has seen my notebooks and books throughout my schooling life from early elementary to college can attest that no page is safe from my doodling, sometimes it just takes up one small corner and other times it takes up whole spaces. I think it’s a sort of a release for me, a way to channel my focus into something else. I’ve always had a difficult time focusing on a certain task for long periods of time, I need something to distract and shift my attention to, I guess you could say I get bored easily.

I still doodle to this day, like I said earlier, a pen and a piece of paper, that’s all I need. I would say it’s something that became part of my life and it lead me to a path in my life which led me to where I am now. Let me further elaborate, during my early years of doodling, a lot of what I drew was influenced by comics which I read growing up. I read mostly Marvel and DC superhero stuff with some occassional manga like Dragon Ball. Of course back then I thought that I had enough talent to maybe pursue a career in drawing comics, that was before I realized that perhaps it wasn’t the best way to make a living. Money isn’t everything but growing up in a capitalist society and a family that put emphasis on business and making money, it’s not so easy to put passion over money. It’s a struggle that I have with myself until this very day, but more on this in the future.

From this dream of becoming a comicbook artist grew my love for the arts, particularly in the early years, graphic design. Now, this was something I thought I could really sink my teeth into, but at the time, I was past the midway into finishing my degree in Business Administration, and I just couldn’t push through with a resolve to shift courses and finally pursue something that I felt passionate about. I still tried to learn about it and with the help of the internet, I self-studied and actually was able to become decent with Photoshop, but the basics of art wasn’t there and it just fell apart from there.

If there was anything good that came out of learning more about design, I was exposed to a big variety of arts and it’s various mediums, and it’s something that I follow to this very day, in particular graffiti as well as pop art derived from different sources like album covers, magazine covers, promotional materials and the like.

And now I am back to where it began, I’m doing what I do best, doodling. Funny how things have come to a full circle or rectangle, whatever. I don’t regret much that I wasn’t able to pursue a career as a penciller or a graphic artists. Trying them out as possible careers, opened my mind up to so much more things and ideas, and basically a lot of who I am now and what I know myself to be now. It is the path that took me to where I am, perhaps if I took a different road earlier, I would still end up here, the most important thing is that this is who Jason is.

And with this parting, I share something I read in the Philosophy Zine which inspired this whole post. From a verse written by Naoyuki Inoue:

“The path you have taken has led you to where you are now. Who you are now creates the path from here on.“